Reflections:Overcoming Problems

           

Some say life is a struggle. If it is, every problem we face leads us to one of two choices. Either we choose to be victorious, or we choose to be a victim. Either we choose to be responsible for the life we create, or we shirk our responsibility by blaming others for our failures and unhappiness.

Those who choose to be victorious don’t find life to be a struggle. They find it to be exhilarating. They don’t encounter problems; they merely face things they wish to change. When they find something blocking their way, they look for a way to get around it, or to overcome it. In a word, they look for, and find, solutions. On the other hand, those who choose to be victims are experts at looking for excuses. They almost delight in finding others to blame for their self-inflicted misery.  

Let’s take a look at two real-life examples:

Carl is in his fifties and claims he wishes to recover from a long string of failures. To this end, he enrolled in a college course to update his skills. One day, when the instructor was writing on the blackboard, he shouted from the back of the room, “Write larger! I can’t read what you’re writing.”

Carl was miffed when the instructor ignored his pleas. A few weeks later, he complained to his classmates, “I’m afraid I’ll have to drop out of this course. I have bad eyes and our teacher writes too small. How can I take notes and learn the material? Our instructor doesn’t seem to care about my disability.”

“Why don’t you come to class early so you can get a seat in the front of the room?” suggested a classmate. “Because the bus in my area runs only once an hour. If I took the earlier bus, I would arrive much too early.” replied Carl. “Get a pair of glasses.” another classmate advised. “I have a pair,” said Carl, “but they are not very helpful.” Exasperated, another classmate asked, “Well then, why don’t you get a pair of opera glasses?” Carl had an answer for that too: “I can’t afford opera glasses. I can barely afford to pay the bus fare to get here.”

Carl had an answer for every question. Although he could never find solutions for whatever was troubling him, he was proficient in finding excuses for his inaction. He was convinced he had certain “disabilities” that warranted special treatment. The world should conform to his “special needs,” he reasoned.

Kyle Maynard is an entirely different breed. Born with stumps in the place of arms and legs, he believed it was his responsibility to adapt to the world rather than demanding the world change for him. The challenges that Kyle has to face make Carl’s pleas for special treatment embarrassing at best and laughable at worst. Despite the enormous obstacles facing Kyle, his lack of arms and legs did not prevent him from learning how to write and type. Neither did it prevent him from becoming a defensive lineman on a football team, a university student, and a top wrestler. Though still a university student, you can add to his list of accomplishments author, world traveller, and motivational speaker. “No Excuses” is the title of Kyle’s book (Regnery Publishing, Inc., 2005), and it points out the difference between him and Carl. Kyle realizes that making excuses holds us back, while assuming responsibility moves us forward. He understands that responsibility is empowering, and the more of it we take on, the more we will be, do, and have what we want.

Problems, difficulties, challenges, or whatever we choose to call them, shouldn’t stop our progress. Rather, they should cause us to ask the following three questions:

1. What do I want from life?

2. What is preventing me from getting what I want?

3. What am I going to do about it?

    Let’s focus on the benefits that change will bring, make a plan, and force ourselves to take the right steps towards reaching our goals. There may be setbacks, but when that happens, don’t get discouraged.     Let’s pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and say, “I’m not going to give up now! I refuse to choose to be a victim! I’m getting back to the program of change and regain control over my life!”