Reflections:Do you know the 90/10 principle?

                                     

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to us and 90% of life is decided by how we react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different. We determine the other 90%. How? By our reactions! We cannot control a red light, but we can control our reaction. We should not let anyone tell us otherwise; we can control how we react.

Let’s use an example. A business man is eating breakfast with his family. His daughter knocks over a cup of 

 
coffee onto his business shirt. He has no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how he reacts. He gets angry. He harshly scolds his daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, he turns to his spouse and criticizes her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. He storms upstairs and changes his shirt.

Back downstairs, he finds his daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. His wife must leave immediately for work. He rushes to the car and drives his daughter to school. Because he is late, he drives 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and a $60 traffic fine, he arrives at school. His daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, he finds he forgot his briefcase. His day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. He looks forward to coming home. When he arrives home, he finds a small wedge in his relationship with his spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how he reacted in the morning! Why did he have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did his daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did he cause it?

The answer is “D”.

He had no control over what happened with the coffee. How he reacted in those five seconds is what caused his bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over him. His daughter is about to cry. He gently says, “It’s ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel he rushes upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and his briefcase, he comes back down in time to look through the window and see his child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.

He arrives 5 minutes early and cheerfully greets the staff. His boss comments on how good a day he is having. Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how he REACTED.

He really did not have any control over 10% of what happened. The other 90% was determined by his reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about us, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. We don’t have to let the negative comment affect us!

If we react properly, it will not ruin our day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc. How do we react if someone cuts us off in traffic? Do we lose our temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel actually fall off! Do we curse? Does our blood pressure skyrocket? Do we try and bump them? WHO CARES if we arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin our drive?

Let’s remember the 90/10 principle, and not worry about it. We are told we lost our job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Let’s use our worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle our schedule for the day. Why take out our frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Let’s use our time to study, and get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now that we know the 90/10 principle, let’s apply it and we will be amazed at the results. We will not lose anything if we try it. The 90/10 principle is incredible. So few know and apply it!

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. Let’s make an effort to have a positive, full of gratitude attitude when things don’t go right, and try to understand and apply this 90/10 principle, because it CAN change our life!